Loneliness

I feel so lonely…
We moved a few weeks ago to a new city. We know some people here, but mainly they are friends of his. And so far we haven’t seen much of them.
But that is not why I really feel this lonely.
I think this is much deeper issue, I feel lonely because I have no one to talk to. I have my partner, but no close friends. This is not new really; it has been going on for a while. It seems that most of my friendships have… disappeared?
People move and I find it hard to stay in touch, but mostly over time I have distance myself from everyone in one way or another.
I have felt hurt by people and not found a way to work through it. I withdraw.
It is not always my first choice, I have tried to talk to friends about it, but it doesn’t always work. And then with me and/or them moving….
I don’t want to go through a list of what has happened with each one of them. I have some friends that I could talk to, but none of them leave anywhere near this city right now. And it has been a while since things have been like this It is making a dent on me now.
Also for some reason as I get older and I think I am finding it harder to connect with people. I didn’t use to find it hard to make “friends” but now I do.
Writing used to be of help when I felt like this, but it is not working anymore.
I have come back to this blog after a long time. I have not been active on the blogsphere for a very long time, and I am getting dishearted to find some of the people I used to follow not around anymore. Then there is also the fact that no one seems to be reading, or least no one who has left a comment, and I think that is just reinforcing the feeling of isolation.
I am having a hard time with the jobless situation, sending applications and hearing nothing back. So obviously being rejected.
Feel rejected (or neglected) by friends too. I have texted or email some people (haven’t said anything about not feeling very upbeat, I tend to do that) and most have not got back to me at all. They might do at some point, but it has been long enough for me to feel rejected.

Feels like any attempt on my part of reaching out, putting myself out there, professionally and personally is meet with silence. Feels so futile to keep trying…