Inevitably growing up

I did well with my wish.
My breasts didn’t grow. Even today they are very small. Now that I have put a bit of weight on is the first time I do not have problems to find a bra that will fit me. Though of course, I still use the smallest size.
I was very skinny as kid, and I did develop late. So I had a very childish look even as a teenager.
But that didn’t help me as much as I had hoped for.

I guess this was soon after the event of the last entry.

We were going to visit my father’s family for a long weekend; Monday was holiday I can’t remember why.
They lived a 4 or 5 hours drive away. The plan was to pick up my mother from work Saturday afternoon and then just go.

The night before something strange happened to me. I woke up in the middle of the night all wet. I was sure I hadn’t pee on myself, I hadn’t done that much even as a very young kind. There was this weird fluid in my underwear, it was too dense to be pee, but I had no idea what it was. I changed and went back to bed, but in the morning I was wet again. I didn’t want to say anything to my brother or my father. I was very ashamed, and I didn’t want to bring attention to me, even less to my intimate parts.

On the drive, I asked to stop to go to the restroom a few times, I wanted to check and get clean if needed. Eventually once my other came with me, and I told her what was going on. She explained to me that it was normal, it was just discharge, and I hadn’t had it before because it happens when you develop. The conversation was still going when we got back to the car, and she continued talking about it in front of my father and brother. She started explaining how it meant that I was growing into a woman and that probably soon I would get my period and notice a few changes in my body shape in general.
I must have looked very uncomfortable about all that, and I guess that is why she continued going deeper in the topic. I was very uncomfortable because he was getting notification of what I was hoping was not obvious by my appearance. I was growing up.
I sat there in my corner at the back of the car, nodding as my mother talked, in the hope that she would stop, even if only for my brother who was bored of the topic already.
I didn’t even want to look at him, but I saw him moving the mirror of the car. He could see me now, and there was nothing I could do. I could see him looking at me as well; I could see that “smile” in his face. If I were to describe it now, I would call it lust.
Back then I didn’t have a word for it, but I had the images and feelings in my mind. I knew what it meant he was thinking. I pressed my legs together as tight as possible. I curled up in the back of the car and pretended to sleep.
I knew I would be safe at his mothers place. There was always someone with us.
Trouble mainly would be in the summer, when he had holidays and mum had to work.